Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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