I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize