do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Mom said you looked used
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize