We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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