I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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