it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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