Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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