You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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