I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
