I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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