I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
