Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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