just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
