i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Randomize