Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
