wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Randomize
