do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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