He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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