The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
