You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize