everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize
