Will you blow on my dice?
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
