that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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