called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
