Someone shit on the floor
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
