She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
