You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
