Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
