I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
