I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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