Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
