i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
