can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
