dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
