please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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