the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
