let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize