My sheets look like a crime scene.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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