Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
last night I used snow as a chaser
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