so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize