omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
