i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize
