First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
