Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
