Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
