Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
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