i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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