she was so not down for the gang bang
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
