i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
