this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
