This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Boobs are out for the taking
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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