What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
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