I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
