I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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