You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
