I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
