i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
