Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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