maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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