We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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