We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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